Bermuda

I wake up uber early after having only a couple of hours sleep but wanting to walk and use my legs, I wake up, get off the boat and I just start running, I run up this huge hill to an unfinished church, I run to the golf course and then to the supermarket. I buy yoghurts and croissants for everyone, I head back to the boat and enjoy a fine breakfast. i eagerly await people waking up. Read is up agrees to walk with me to finds the showers which I know are round the other side of the bay. We take the scenic route. Then when we arrive to find it not opened yet so we swim in the mariner, the water is so clean and you can see lots of fishes and crystal clear water, bliss. Grace and Chris arrive, we all enjoy a fine, time limited shower. As they are behind me in time I am eager to leave and do something, I want to use my legs and being impatient I leave and head back to the boat for some lunch. I get back and Brian arrives and offers me the bike, so I cycle over the hill and to the beach. I meet some guys I thought were gay and spend the day swimming and drinking a lot of wine, it is so expensive here its about 6 bucks for a glass of wine. I have about 20bucks to my name but luckily I don’t have to pay for anything. When we leave we tie my bike onto the back of this scooter and then there's three of us on a scooter, fun times. I am fed with steak and shrimps at my request. and some more wine. I stumble home at some point. Day 2, I can barely walk my legs are so worn out, my muscles feel like i've pulled them all. There we have to have a team meeting to discuss all the ‘problems’ on the boat, mainly the team morale seems to be the issue. The lack of communication is affecting us all.we we hit it out and get over the previous problems. We spend five days in Bermuda which breaks the bank, it is so expensive here I hardly want to leave the boat but also want to spend as much time as possible not on the boat whilst we have that opportunity.

We set sail from the there about 8 pm in the evening and toast with rum and lemonade. As soon as we out on the water I go below deck and feel extremely sick. So I head up to steer the boat and distract myself and it dissolves away as quickly as it arrived. 

Sailing. Part 1

I have no idea where to begin on this. Everyone said I was crazy. Never sailed before and setting out on the ocean. I didn’t care, I had to get home, and what a better way. Supposedly it is a lesser environmental impact than flying.  So we leave the international coastal way knowing that some of the jobs had not been done on the boat and that the workmanship of the boat repair people was less than substandard. Anyhow it was about 6.30pm when we hit the ocean. We were also motoring at this point I immediately felt sea sick, so I hit my bunk for a snooze, the first couple of days I slept a hell of a lot, I never knew I could sleep so much. I only felt sea sick for a short time and I think it was due to the engine being on, when your down below it vibrates so fast through your entire body that it makes you feel nausea, something I learnt to love on the latter end of the trip. The third day we had a major catastrophy and the foil on the forestay snapped, so we had to take the genoa down, in case it brought the mast down. Probably the worst thing that could happen, had happened. So for about half an hour we thought we were to turn back, which I was secretly delighted about, I was having mixed emotions about whether I liked sailing which is never a good start. My last entry on day three states ‘ I don’t want to die on this boat’, it is scary venturing out into the unknown, our radio didn’t work so I couldn’t maintain the contact I had agreed to with my friend at the shore. However we did have email which I sent one daily, I thought I wanted to not be connected to the world like that but I really looked forward to some contact outside of the boat, it was perhaps the highlight of the day sometimes. After which we decided to remove the genoa completely. It’s the bit that holds the big sail at the front and we tied it to the side. We were going to persevere with the journey.  Everyone at the dock had been telling me all week that they wouldn’t sail that boat on the ocean, everyone had an opinion and everyone had ‘worked’ on the boat at some point. I had complete faith in my captain. The winds were pants so we ended up motoring the whole way to Bermuda, we hadn’t planned to stop there but due to the damage on the boat we had no choice and I decided it would be great to break the trip up. The team of which some members were new to others meant that morale was low and there were some teething issues with the friendships. When we saw land, after eleven days we saw land, everyday we would count down the miles and dream about foods we wanted to eat, I wanted a glass of red wine and prefably a cheese board. We had a bird stop on our boat one day, a turn. So we called her Tina Turner had I fed her chips, she stayed for the day then I guess took off home. One of the crew put their foot through the floor in rough weather early on, which is a bit annoying as its at the bottom of the stairs to the cockpit. We rebuilt it but it wasn’t to hold for very long. Every day I had a 7.30am radio date to speak to someone at shore, each day thinking I had gotten to know the radio a little better, hope is a dangerous thing. After Bermuda I gave up and stuck to me emails. Some days I would put the line out for fishing and sit and wait for my tea, it never came. I think a lot about owning a dog, it’s the commitment. Every choice is life is feeling like a commitment and it scares me. I get absorbed in books, particulary this one about a bookstore in Paris, so after reading it I decide to go there and learn silk rope trapeze act things, and of course French, oh and journalism. Its amazing how wild ones imagination goes whilst out on the water. My dreams are becoming more vivid and interesting, I end up merging sleep dreams into day dreams. And then trying to curb where my thoughts are going. I have a daily ukele lesson, but my book is just for beginners and I need more. Exercise on the boat is vastly limited and restricted to situps and some stretching. The 4am shift is my favourite, 4-8am, this way I get to  see the sunrise, and then I get a nap in my dark bunk room to mull over my thoughts of the night.i had the bottom bunk for the first 11days (the best bunk). The top bunk feels like you are in a small coffin. I try to fast one day every 2 weeks but its amazing how hungry you get sailing as every second your muscles are working to keep you balanced so this doesn’t work out too well. Days go by without seeing any life, it feels like a floating island drifting through  a baron landscape, Such a strange environment. There is plenty of space of the boat to get away from people but every day you see the same peopleand the days merge into each other, as well as thoughts and dreams.Sometimes when we see something floating we think up wild stories that are attached to that object. Like one day we saw a buoy and we thought it had drugs attached and people were on the way to collect it. Day 8 I get awoken by an excited Grace because there are 20 or so dolphins outside swimming alongside the boat, by the time I get there I get to see them swim off into the sunrise. THeres news of a team meeting as some members are unhappy with the situation, there seems to be some bitching going on and this annoys me, but we quickly rectify the situation with a new watch schedule. When there are limited water supplies you end up scrutinizing how much people consume, and luxary items, some people having too much or too little. Feels like a survival tv program. Day 10 I am sunbathing on the bow when I see some dolphins swing by, oh my god this is amazing, they are diving in and out and swimming along side. I love them so much, I can hear them communicating with each other, I go to sit on the bow spritz and I can see them under my feet enjoying the waves. This is such an amazing experience I find it hard not to jump in to be with them. On day 11 we see land! It was ten past 2, what an amazing sight indeed, I couldn’t wait to get off the boat and be on my own in my own space, my own headspace I guess im not sure, just to feel the breakaway from the crew, to run and to eat fine foods. We made up crazy stories about what we could see, we didn’t get into the mariner until midnight that night, so many times we would go up deck to see how much closer we were and it felt like it wasn’t closer at all. It was disappointing, so I tried to sleep in the hope that when I woke up we would be on land. Bermuda is surrounded by reef and the sea is very rough, my dreams are crazy, the seem to mostly include sailing on land. I am getting thrown around inmy bed, I wake up and we are in the mariner trying to avoid boats in the dark.I am so excited I wake Grace up and talk about running off the deck into the water just because I wanna run so much, it was crazy times, I had tears in my eyes and laughter at my mouth. We moor at the customs office where they are awaiting to check our passports. Im so happy and excited. This is shattered quickly by my sea legs being on solid ground, this is worse than any other sickness ive ever felt. I want to get on the boat, so I do but the sea isn’t rough there and im still feeling sick. I have to sit on the floor in the customs office and take deep breaths, it was awful. So as soon as that’s done we move the boat to the opposite side and go for a walk in hopes of a bar and some cigerettes. Turns out theres nothing open but we find some people having a lock in at a restaurant so we ask to join which they warmly accept. My glass of red wine arrives. J good times.

The end at which it starts?

After a long and ardous stay in San Pedro Sula airport, 26 hours until the check in desk opened I got to know that airport pretty well, comfy spots for sleeping, electrical points etc. The check in opened at 9.30pm on the Thursday night, when a fellow islander Alan turns up to check the procedure, I leave the airport to go run some errands with him and his friend and have a couple of beers, I was thinking the whole time ‘am I crazy?’ anyway we make it back and the que is still a 100 long. Luckily earlier that day I had spoken to a couple of young people working the check in desk. They usher me to the front of the que, which clearly angers many passengers so we decide not to turn around, ‘what you don’t see doesn’t affect you right?’ J I had made a small arrangement with them at their request, I had to attempt to talk to their supervisor, who could not speak English. So they check us in, I could not remain serious considering I was in a high mood, wearing a massive grin. We ate our sandwiches and smoked our last cigarettes before going through the gate, we go through the gate and board pretty much immediately. Me and Alan are both very tall and we are stuck next to the window at the back of the airplane so we spend an uncomfortable 2 hours wedged up against the seats in front, probably getting about 45minutes sleep. We land at 5.30am American time, very sleepy and very excited! We say our goodbyes and I get on a transit bus to the train station. I was trying to get to Titusville and everyone was fairly helpful, except I didn’t find out till later they didn’t know what they were saying. So I board a train in the rain after the bus driver had given me half his lunch box because I was hungry. I get off at Hollywood and I wait for the Amtrak ticket office to open, I end up falling asleep on a bench to be woken up by a police officer shaking the bench. The ticket office finally opens and they tell me its 80bucks! I don’t know what to do so I exit the line. They aren’t very helpful at all on alternative routes, so I end up trying to fit the ticket on my credit card. The train arrives and I find myself a seat and go straight to sleep. On awakening to some ticket inspectors calling me sleeping beauty I go on the hunt for food, there’s a canteen, a restaurant and sleeping cabins, everyone wants to talk with me, apparently light exudes me. I get a tour of the cabins and good conversations to follow. On arrival to Orlando I ask a minibus driver how to get to Titusville, he tells me it would cost 100bucks! But he would take me to the bus station for 10bucks. What a dilemma, so I get in the bus and he drops his other customer off first at a swanky hotel, I get to know the driver and his co-pilot who has just moved here, he calls the bus station to find out the last bus already left a couple of hours ago. The only option left is to hitch. The co-pilot is freaking out, it’s dangerous, he says he will have a panic attack if I do that and he cares for my safety already which surprises me. I am determined to get to my destination after such a long journey I just wanted to get here. So they drop me at the services on the 428 highway to Titusville with a promise I will call if I get stuck. I sit on the central reservation and wait for cars to pass by to stick my thumb out, almost everyone avoids eye contact. One guy asks where I’m going and he says sorry he is going in the opposite direction. About half an hour later having had no takers he returns driving on the wrong side of the road he hollers me to get onboard, he says he found out where Titusville is and offers to take me half way, he couldn’t let me be stranded at the side of the road, he says he has to pick up his pay check first so we head downtown to his work base where there are a lot black people drinking beer hanging around, he gets me a beer for the journey, he then tells me to get out and have a beer whilst I wait for his boss who is driving closer to Titusville. A few beers, smokes and jokes later we are leaving. Not before I had been informed on the way they bet playing poker, they don’t play for money, they play for ‘Big Daddys’ and ‘Push-ups’.

So a ‘Big Daddy’ is where at any point at any given time, the person owed a ‘Big Daddy’ can say something like e.g. ‘hey bob, when you go home tonight, who’s dick you gonna be thinking about’ and he would have to reply ‘ yours big daddy’, and such like. So a tune came on and I was certain it was by the Fugees because I used to listen to those words many years ago I knew that, but he was like no its by the ‘BLAH BLAH’ so we bet a big daddy and sure enough he used it on me when everyone was earshot. Ha ha. J

Anyway we leave the house and set off down the highway. I am in high spirits again and laughing and joking with the boss and his son. When the driver turns to say he is dropping me at the next junction. The sudden realization that I still have a while to go is less than amazing but I happily truddle off in the direction of traffic, my bags are heavy and weighing me down, I have to keep stopping to regain strength, no one is even considering picking me up. I make it to a shop and wait outside, a man appears to tell me I still have a very long way to go, about 30 miles and maybe his boss could take me when the shop closes, there is another man in a car lingering around so eventually consider my options and go over to talk with him, he says he will pick me up across the road. Strange. So we start driving and he says he doesn’t know where Titusville is, I knew where it was so I tell him and he is unsure of how far so says we should stop and look at a map, whilst we stop he asks me if I want to come back to his house to ‘party’ with him and his wife, if I knew what he meant. I politely decline and wonder about the choice of this ride. The map doesn’t reveal much to him so he suggests we go back to his house to ask his wife. I say no thank you ‘ can you maybe take me to the next services’ so we drive along and then he turns off the highway by ‘accident’ and then has to turn around, ending up dropping at a services before the one he picked me up at. It starts to get dark and I am starting to worry so I decide to sit outside the services door and just ask people as they go in, I immediately meet someone who lives in Titusville but is going in the opposite direction, then a young of young people turn in and they say yes we will take me, the driver is German American and very sympathetic to my cause, the guy behind me sounds like an army zombie and the young girl is very nice. They take me all the way into my mariner, with offers of dinner and phone numbers in case I ever get stuck, I thank them kindly and send them on my way. The people on the dock are surprised I had turned up in the middle of the night, bare foot and asking a boat which wasn’t there, I was looking for a boat called ‘wandering star’, there was a boat heading to England but it was called ‘Legacy 2’ I go aboard and look for familiar items which could connect the boat to my friends, none. I don’t feel comfortable going aboard for the night, they make some calls and they tell me it is the boat so I go aboard for my well deserved sleep after a greatly appreciated shower.  I lift back the duvet and find… a backgammon board! Home J

The captain and crew don’t arrive for another week or 10 days so I make myself at home at the mariner. Everyone is happy to have me there, particulary Cindy who says im just what she needed. I am given her bike to use, fed daily with delicious foods, and more than adequately watered.  We all go on a beach excursion which is fueled by fried chicken and beers. Who am I to judge J.  I am a little bored as theres not much to do around there, and it’s a weird atmosphere at the mariner because half the people are working and some people are generally working on their boats very slowly and enjoying life I guess. A lot of weed is smoked around here which I try to avoid. One day Brian turns up, my captain, at last! Whoop whoop. He says we should go to KFC, which I don’t really want but he says we should go and chat there. I walk in to see a well nourished African looking girl in the corner I double take, fuck me its Grace! I cry with happiness for the next 15minutes, and as I write this tears comes to my eyes again, I had been longing to see a friendly familiar face for monthes and it had just come packaged in a KFC store. AmaZING J. That night the dock crew had arranged for the viewing of ‘captain ron’ a film they said I had to watch before sailing anywhere. I give Grace my bunk to sleep in cause theres one more bed I hadn’t tried out yet. That was a bad move because she loved it as much as I did and there we faught over it for the next few days.  Chris and Read turn up a few days later, we do the final preparations for the boat.

One day Brian returns and I notice more than a lot of crates of fizzy pop on the dock, hmm interesting. We do the provisions and I start to worry about the food situation on the boat. Meanwhile I have gotten to know  another boat owner who is trying to convince me to jump ship and sail to New York, which is tempting but sailing the Atlantic is my goal. Home across the pond.

Titusville is an a industrial town with the main industry being the NASA space station across the water on the island there, Monday the 18^th of May is the date when the ‘last’ shuttle will be launched to the space station, we decide this being a day to stay for and to leave the day after. In the bar one night we get an offer for me and Grace to go on a boat out to get front row seats which we greatly accept. So 7am and with stonking hangovers we get up after having not much sleep to go aboard this boat with Nef, a dentist who’s b irthday it was,his wife Sandra and Leaf. What a good feeling it was, we had the radio on with the count down on, and good company. Good company really makes the experience.  We get back to dock about 9am, if my memory serves correct, and this is when birthday drinks are suggested. The sun rises high and it starts to get very hot, by lunch time I am wasted, by 5pm I have passed out with the hopes of rising for dinner later that day. No chance. I was sick, sick as a dog. The next day we are still not ready to leave which is music to my ears as I hadn’t finalized everything at the mariner.  Wednesday morning we set sail. 

Utilian conclusion

The real Utila

This month has just seen semana santa, the busiest time of the year other than xmas, Tranquila wanted me to work every day for 10days hopefully finishing by 5am every night. This was very displeasing to the soul, it was such a looming chore that i thought about quitting, but im not a quitter i hear myself say. The final night of the masters hand in, i was supposed to work however a hurdle came up which delayed me somewhat so i told them i could not work, so i worked on my masters all night at Dr.Johns house, handed it in at 4.26am 34 minutes before due time. I left about 9am after dabbling in some party antics and went home to freshen up, feeling the heavy masters burden lifted i headed to underwater vision to celebrate, on arrival i hear of a keys trip, to water key on a boozey party afternoon. I definitely remember going there, i remember touring the island in a matter of 5 minutes, i remember swimming and dancing, and then the next thing you know im on land at the bar, on one of my ‘i’ve lost everything....again’ missions. I had somehow picked up an annoying Australian sleazeball following me around so my good friend zion gave me an excuse to leave, in between i have a vague memory of walking the length on the main street (long road) before realising left my phone at the bar and riding a motorcycle back. I woke up several hours later on jamies veranda about midnight with no-one around, i had only missed the bar hadn’t i. Doh. So i headed home to catch some more zzzs. The next day i go to check on the doctor who had made it through night 2 with no sleep, however i found him sleeping rather uncomfortably on the sofa with what looked like refried beans all over him. I tended to the baby parakeets Kit and Kat and then left for a chess date. That weekend the doctor took me out to Pumpkin hill to stay in a lovely house in the bush, some time away from Utila was very much required. However we stayed up all night talking, drawing, exploring and dancing, and the next day i could not sleep, i had been very run down to this point and this was the pinnacle day of being physically exhausted. We stumbled through the bush after sunset to walk back to the main road where we could get signal to call a taxi, i was supposed to work in an hour at Tranquila and i had no interest whatsoever in going. So i didn’t. And i didn’t call, cause i got home and past straight out for the next 14hours. The next day i found out i had been unscheduled because of the 2 ‘no shows’= wicked. Another burden lifted off my shoulders. The following week and to this day, is spent lesuirely touring the island, the caves, the beaches, more caves,  a crashed cocaine plane in the bush, smashing coconuts, beautiful beaches, volleyballs, mangos, freediving, climbing trees for fruits, trying to conserve energy in the heat, searching for the breeze or letting it find you, cycling all day, meeting wonderful people by night, drinking, propositions, sleazey guys, nice guys, shit music, satisfactory music, occasional ‘tunez’, and of course hooping.

  

Oh for gods sake, I love it here who am i kidding, i have a life here, i have friends, i know most of the island by now, and if i don’t know them i prob know their mates, its lushish here, fruits, vegetables, herbs, sunshine, fish, volleyball, hooping, friendly happy people, fun, jungle, caves, and more sunshine. There is a new future queen as from today 5am. Its exciting. My days are spent lounging around in place to place, forgaing for fruits, feeding my addictions to coconut water and mangos, evenings spent dancing in the street or working in the tree house. I never make plans here i see people when i see people, you could walk down the street and fall into a different social situation at any point if you like. Ive finally feel like i have love for this island and im about to go, maybe its the time, i couldn’t leave without having love for the place, having conquered this challenge of surviving on ‘the rock’, with many stories to tell and experiences to be turned into wisdom some day. It rained today, for the first time in about 2 monthes, its was lovely, i just sat under a tree drinking coconut water, now the sky is turning blue again but i can tell its going to rain again soon. This is a good sign for me. It rains a lot when i leave places and it makes me feel excited about the future and wonder whether ill ever return to teaspoon island.

Yesterday the 4th of May, i thought i had to leave, as i thought i was flying on Thursday morning. my last night was spent hanging with my favorite friends, however a film and Kitty's isn't a good combo so i was asleep for much of the time. bummer. i woke up the next morning at 6am to hear torrential downpour outside. Haven't seen rain like this since England. I start to panic i should have left the day before in case of problems. I finish packing and head out to find my special friend Rick who i am very sad about leaving here. He opens my last coconut here and we share the milk and meat. Then i head to underwater vision dive shop to say goodbye to some friends there, then to the cinema for breakfast and a final smoothie, which she gives to me on the house for being such a customer, great. im so sad i don't want to leave. i get on the ferry at 2, a very painful goodbye to Rick and i spend the crossing watching the island disappear into the horizon, so i decide to go to sleep until i reach the mainland. God this is an awful feeling, not being on the island. I share a taxi ride to the bus station where the bus to San Pedro Sula is awaiting. Then theres a taxi waiting for me to take me to the airport. delighted at being at the airport i find a seat to do some internet surfing until the desk opens. It doesn't take long before i realise i'm a day early for my flight and i'll have to spend the next 28 hours in the airport to wait. i sleep in a chair which has a plug nearby, the only place in the airport outside Dunkin Doughnuts, the sleep is less than comfortable, and the airport is busy at 5am! WTF. 

So gutted i missed a night on Utila, a wednesday too which is my favorite night out of the week there. and the time lost to spend with friends, an evening spent feeling sad for my loss. however the following day brings fellow islanders to the airport hungover with more island stories of sniffing beer through snorkels and g string wearing graduates. 

Utila truly did earn a place in my heart and in exchange i have given Utila a piece of my heart, forever it will stay until one day we are reunited once again.

From Eden to Babylon

So we came to Utila to really wind down after a month long spiritual course. Dancing, debauchery and diving - WIN. Well i never expected to dive but Jerome had booked us into a hostel which turned out to be a dive shop (Cross Creek). It was also a celebratory weekend as it was Katy’s birthday, we went out straight away to check out the town and get intoxicated. We decided to all go diving 'when in Rome' an all that. The next day we started our open water PADI qualifications, me, Daisy and Jerome. Katy started her advanced. It was soo good, the feeling of being underwater, swimming with the fishes. Its like no other feeling. Its AmaZING! There’s only a couple of bars here, the main ones being Tree Tanic (voted in top five bars of the world), Tranquilla  is on the water, open late, and there’s a couple of others. I meet a guy in Tree Tanic, Zion who is a tattoo artist. I see his work and immediately know he is the guy to do my tattoo. We hang out a lot other the next week and i decide the new moon night is the perfect time to do it, we finally reach a design we both love. I finish my open water, and instinctively just move onto advanced. Jerome and Katy leave back to Belize, Daisy gets herself a temporary boyfriend, and i’m just 'hanging' assessing the whole situation. The tattoo experience was incredible, i am a pussy kat, it hurt, so i tried EVerythink. It took about four hours and was a great experience and im really happy, we go out straight after and dance the night away.  In the back of my mind i keep forgetting to check my bank balance. So i naturally start my advanced as im hooked on diving. Then i go to withdraw some money for fun times, DENIED. Oh no. 

So i move out of Cross Creek and into the tattoo studio which happens to be a three bedroom house. Im renting the ‘sofa’ for 50bucks a month but i get a room until some housemates turn up. Zions friend has taken a liken to me and is keen to be my boyfriend, so he fixes me up a bike, and shows me some sights, he is not my type unfortunately. So i fix up the house nice in return for nearly free living, so nice having my own pad to finish my studies. Now ive got a hammock too on the veranda. So now i need some money, i look around town for jobs which little to no luck. A Scottish chick is shot in the back in a bar by this crazy American dude who went crazy after someone poisoned his dogs, he was a quiet man who ran a barbecue restaurant, he tried to shot three people. Theres a lot of Americans living here, and theres a lot of localism, drugs, guns and gangsters, this is kept quite down low and this shooting was a freak accident thing.

Time passes, im anxious and depressed, i start to get involved on the local low down. In the bar one evening and the English team needs a girl for the beer olympics on St. Paddys day. The next morning i wake up at midday wondering why the hell i signed up for beer olympics when i dont even drink drink beer, but with only 2 hours to go to start i have to get myself up around and in the mood. Such a hard life. I immediately change the team name to The Badgers Nutz, luckily theres not much beer involved, about 7quid to enter and as much rum punch as one can drink all day. It was a great day, sunshine, sand, sea, competitiveness, silly games including flippy cup, boat race, volleyball, mud wrestling and tug of war. Lots of hula hooping, when it was dark and the party had been cranked up somewhat people were diving through the hoop for ages, even when it was like 5/6ft high, hehe they regretted that the next day, hula hoop limbo, the last thing clear account i remember was the boat race, where u have to down a bottle of beer in one. After that it becomes somewhat vague. My bike was stolen that night, have no idea why i cycled to the bar and didn't chain it up, Doh! The next day is spent laying on the dock catching rays and sinking into the ocean when the feeling on being cooked gets too much.

  The day after my friend takes me on a tour of the island, which doesn’t take too long as its so small here, think its 11 miles long, although that feels like a lot, everything is mainly centered around the main strip, which takes about 25 minutes to walk the entire stretch, no one really does that thou, if i don't have a bike i don't go really. I am then preparing myself for the full moon party at Bandu beach, girls free before 10, so i arrive with 3 minutes left to spare before an 80l fee is slapped on. A good night was had by all, there was rumours that a Guatemalian anthropologist stated that the Mayan calendar said there was  due to be an earthquake on a large scale that would instigate a tsunami  effect and that being in Utila would be a bad place to be. The beach was amazing that night; it was on the edge of the island with a large shallow expanse of water for drunken wadding. Lost my purse that night with my bank cards in. The next day i'm offered a job at Tree Tanic which will be lots of fun, might even quit the job at Tranquillas just to work there more. Got myself a new bike, a rad bmx WITH brakes. Cost me 50bucks. Had it less than 24 hours before someone jumped my locked  high fence and came and took it from the yard. Great.

So ive got zero bikes now, how many bikes? Zero bikes. Got one bank card left but no passcode to swap any funds across to it. One of my jobs gave me an ultimatum to give up one of the other jobs, and i have no fixed abode. Its not the greatest situation, but then im on a carribean island with lots of fun and happiness going down every day. Theres got to be some form of balance in there somewhere. My housemate had a attempted robbery on him last night, he knocked the robbers out which is lucky. Daily life here is a struggle by day and a celebration by night that i completed another day, it definitely helps that my jobs give me free alcohol and on Tuesdays there is free alcohol anyway at la piratas. Depression has kicked in and my mood returns to the likeness of the wavy ocean. A rollercoaster ride that is kats mind.

So difficult trying to finish the masters degree, work jobs, find a suitable place to live, and have a good time oh and nurse the hangovers, i realise im still not very good at managing stress. I move out and via a friends house to my own room, for a reasonable price, then all my friends say its underneath a crackheads house and he will probably try to rob my stuff when i'm not there. so i go to work a little dampened and a German dude who prints t-shirts offers me his spare apartment in his garden in exchange for some maintenance work, he will pick me up in the morning. Excellent. The new pad, Martins Place, is Purrfect! i have my own little wooden lodge with kitchen and bathroom, veranda and hammock (essential) and flowers and fruits outside, there are animals, dogs cats, lizards and crabs, oh and hummingbirds. I have found my sanctuary.

I lost my amazing sunglasses, i still think someone stole them from my friends house whilst i was sleeping, mind you i lost my flip flops too, which is bad, cause although i prefer to wear no shoes, i got drunk when i was being paid to dj at Tree Tanic, i got free drinks all night and never played any music, i ran to my friends house, he lived down a very long drive which was made of broken up coral, so thats were the bloody feet came from, then i went to the local doctors house, this crazy arse American dude, i met him the night before at the beach party, after they stopped the music cause Dr John was nearly or involved in a fight, i was delighted to finally meet him after i had heard so much crazy shit about him. He just kept saying he was a violent man and liked to fight, i thought he was hilarious and laughed at him. So whilst everyone had moved up to Bar in the Bush, the only night club here, me and a friend went to Dr. Johns house, must of been about 1am, he was there face full of face paint, high and drunk having a great time, so we all sit around and have a laugh except it ends up me and Dr. John having a loud arguement up close, Baron is in the back doing the diving sign for no air, or other words Shut up! hehe that was a fun night, when we left i walked into an invisible barb wire fence. Then it was time for home, or dock party, swimming :) 

I think one day an anonymous story will be written so it can be unfiltered. My diet consists of peanut butter sandwiches, pastilitos, which are deep fried packets of meat, hot meat injection, and baleadas. some people ’ say  i need to grow an ego and ‘have a bigger cock than others’, i say ‘no, why should i change myself for others’ i will adapt i just need to maintain the kitty kat inside it all, and i refuse to conform, im no conformist, i will be successful here and i wont change to be a dickhead to do so. Peace.

Things are wonderful and obsurd all at same time. I get to hang out on yachts, go on speed boats around the island, go the the little keys, phat parties, shit parties, hula head banging, love, hate, politics and fun. no restrictions fun. well no restrictions in the restricted space of what is available to Utila. I will no doubt be sad to leave, but Kitty Kat is definitely landing on the feet. with only 7 days left to hand the master degree back for the last time, a key party in the midst and 4 shifts at work, i'm in for a busy week ahead, and then its semana santa - easter so will be working every day for 10 days probably, then i will finish my advanced course then head to the everglades hopefully before setting sail for home. Happy Dayz, and tonight a Canadian friend is dj-ing at the bar in the bush so im looking forward to my first installment of good music here. whoop, its only been 5 weeks or so.

More adventures next time. meow

Guatemala...

So its been epic. i hardly know where to start.

I arrived in Flores, after much disgust on being charged horrendously coming through Belize, a part of our commonwealth apparently but still up for ripping me right off for getting a bus through. Wish i had known. Anyway it did look a little nice. Oh and nearly forgot to tell about my wait for the bus,ha, i arrived in Chetumal about 7pm, hoping to get a connecting bus straight to Flores, however the next bus was at 6 the next morning.
So after a really kind Argentinian guy drove me around town and then back to the bus station to find the cheapest accommodation, i found myself staying at the same place as the bus driver, the owner was sat outside with this big black dude from Belize, i sat down to chat with them as my room was less than attractive. The owner quickly cycled off to buy me a coffee and something to eat. Meanwhile this dude, 'Cafe' his name actually was, proceeded to tell me how he was looking for an English girlfriend, hmm i knew where this was going. He told me of his big family, about 6 kids with like 4 different mothers, in several different countries. He was looking to spread his self to Europe. He then told me of his multi million dollar business' and how he did not know how to spend his money. I politely listened and smiled, secretly hoping the owner would hurry up and return so we could change the subject, he took ages. Cafe insisted on buying me a drink, he wanted to take me for dinner but i said i would settle for him buying me a bottle of wine from the corner shop. He went into a massive debate on how much he liked me and how i could have anything i wanted if i were his girlfriend,  money, travel, property etc. some of the things he said are unrepeatable. I tried to explain how gross Caribbean men and there obsession with women and how shallow they were, but it didn't sink in. The owner returned and then a one armed midget turned up, blind drunk with a boom box around his neck and a tip pot in his hand. He was obviously friends with the owner, he then fell over and proceeded to go to sleep in the corner of the doorway. I was due to get up at 5am in order to catch the bus and get a discount from the owners recommendation. however i slept through my alarm calls and woke with the owner at my bedroom door at 7am, he rushed me over to the bus on his bike and put me on the bus. So i was glad to leave Chetumal, that night was really uncomfortable, i had got the most mozzy bites that i had received all my trip adn it was hot and sweaty and surrounded by weird guys staying in the same place. I was charged 250pesos to leave Mexico and then a further 15 dollars  to leave Belize on the same day. Lucky some Isrealies lent me the money cause otherwise i would have been stuck there at the border for goodnessknows how long. They tried to charge a further 10Q to enter Guatemala but we all flatly refused and that was fine.

Arrived in Flores, a small island town on la lago de flores. i went to Tikal the next morning, the big mayan ruins there, we left at 4 in the morning, YAWN!. we picked out some people and i saw a guy about my age get on who gave me a smile, we were friends already. we got off the bus and brought a map, i convinced Sean-T to stay on the guided tour and we could have our own adventure after. It was epic, miles and miles of temples, animals, birds and amazing stories and people. then about 4-5 hours later we headed off on our own to find some undiscovered ruins in our minds. It was great. we got the collectivo back and headed straight to the dock to jump in the Lake, he told me of this 'moon course' on lake atilan and i knew i had to go. He left to be on time and i stayed with some friend i had met at Los Amigos, excellent hostel with the best brownies! i left a couple of days later after spending some lush time with some lush people. I also found out i failed my final project at uni which was a major blow. Me and this Scottish dude boarded the coach at 8pm, having smoked a couple of biffs, popped a vali and then proceeded to drink a load of rum. boy that journey went by in a wink of an eye. so arrived in Panajchel about lunch time the following day feeling surprisingly fresh. I got the boat over to San Marcos, knowing i was 2 days late for the course but it was a sunday so that was cool. Arrived and was lucky enough to find a bed in a pyramid with my name on it. I was about to stay here for one month, so time to chill down. My life was to consist of meditation 3x a day, yoga every day and a class of meta physics. I was sharing a room with someone that had a really closed energy and was not feeling very for filling for me. Within 5 minutes of being there i had my new partner in crime- Daisy, an English girl from Oxford darling, for all this was new to her she wasa quite skeptical, which was great for me to get an objective viewpoint so far.
San Marcos is a beautiful small town filled with holistic healing clean water, rocks, sun rises and beautiful people. I nearly left after the first week but decided to test my self discipline and try to stay for the duration of the moon cycle. We learnt a lot about the lost civilisation of Atlantis, the tree of life, astrology, the zodiacs, tarot, chakras, healing and lots more. Our master, Chati, was amazing, a Mayan Priestess with lots of cool experiences to share with us.There was about 20 of us doing the course, all with different skills to share, nutrionists, hippies, 'townies', fanatics, fadists, musicians, travellers, me and more. I did some crazy health stuff i dont feel like sharing. we shared a lot of toilet talk, never been so close to such a big bunch of people about feelings, history, our bodies. crazy. i miss those guys. I decided to do the 'Master cleanse' 10 days of fasting only consuming water mixed with miel de cana, lemon and cayene pepper, i made it to day 7 and then i broke it, terribly with my P.I.C Daisy in Panajchel, ice cream, pancakes or and a salad :)  wont mention the next couple of days. was so hard to keep the fast going when we were all in silence, 6 days, so no-one to motivate me expect myself, hardcore. At the time it was the best thing, to quit the fast but after 2 days i thought i could have gone to 10 if only i had drunk the recommended amount of master cleanse juice it could of been better. i think i will try it again but not for a while. I also did the liver cleanse and the salt water flush. both gross but so good when you can see how good your body functions after.  I did a reflexology course which was amazing and the best 40quid i spent in a while. I did cheat on the silent retreat, mainly for the sake of rebeling i think, and i did regret this after but then i learnt a lot from the whole experience, being quiet, trying not to respond to peoples chat and then talking, and then silence again. It is something i would do again but you can do it anytime anywhere.

After the Graduation ceremony i was confused slightly on what to do next, theres was lots of options on the table so i decided to go across the Lake to San Pedro, the party time to catch up with some pals from home and sleep on all my choices. I then decided to leave for Honduras ASAP, get to the beach, change of scene, people etc. I took two friends my P.I.C and Dervla, so now in Copan, found a cheese and wine venue so have kept myself happy all day eating cheese and getting drunk on two glasses of wine, cheeses, coffee and lush smoothies. Oh and Dusty Springfield has just come on the radio. Oh yes! simple things...  :) supposed to cooking a curry in a bit for traveling moon pot luck. go me.

Pictures for Guatemala can be seen http://www.facebook.com/album.php?id=507507501&aid=330433

Christmas Holidays

So, i arrive in Mazunte a day or two before xmas eve to find the gang in the bar on the tail end of a two day bender,the reception i receive is so warming on the heart, the guys all offer to carry my bags and i couldn't hesitate less to leave the Swiss' that drove me there. We eventually get back to our home for the duration, with a Rhys in a red robe and a now achy back from my overloaded rucksack, we all sit down and debrief our stories up to that moment, they ply me with tequila, i share dried grasshoppers with them and stories of hitchhiking and gifts the universe had given to me. They begin dropping like flies, it is clear the party has come to an end for them, for me it has just begun. I head down to the beach for a swim and cervasa. Some children yell to me to get out of the water, for there are some foreign objects floating around, they are shark guts, ERGH. I meet a guy who shares a smoke with me, immediately i discover he is a sleaze ball and i set about getting home. I am now drunk and incredibly stoned on some extremely strong pot, i cannot remember where home is, every road looks familiar yet not correct, luckily i have the address written on my hand. That night i had a hammock designated for me as the final room in our house hadn't become available yet. I get into the hammock and shut my eyes, the combination of swinging and the spinning out makes me feel nausea, i lay on the floor in major discomfort, after squirming for some time i eventually fall asleep. I wake up several hours later feeling a lot more together, its late, and i'm hungry. Jerome and Katy are in our restaurant so i eat some food with them before  getting a good nights sleep, its been a long and eventful day. The coming days i was completely out of sync with the gang after not having made the full moon party, so i make my own fun and set myself loose on the town to meet the locals and hoop my way around all the bars making friends, teaching tricks and learning tricks too. I find some banging electro in a beach bar and have a great night partying.

A couple of nights in and its our first party night out together after the boys dj at our nightclub. Our house is out the back of the most popular nightclub in town, nightmare but its such a lovely house with a lovely garden. We shop for xmas dinner and the build up begins. Christmas morning a big vat of Sangria is made by the Wizard of Ellis and we all to the la playa with frisbee in hand, rugby frisbee in the sea is played by all followed by glasses of sangria and general festive cheer. Dinner is to be served about 4ish, everyone pitches in to set the table, cook, get decorations and tableware. we have four guests for the feast including two Greenpeace staff, the evening is filled with conversations/debates and lots of booze oh and turkey, we head to the club and then end the night on the beach.

The lead up to new years was spent with muchos lazyness, beaches, natural jacuzzi's, walks, internet, new friends and old friends. We had a night at the nightclub where Rhys, MexicO'Shea, and Andy Ellis playing rocking the scene, skinny dipping as the sun comes up and general innocent mischief. New years was a big event planned by afar new friends and ourselves we had a remote place in Agua Blanca to host our own party, there was another party in San Augustinillo which was competing for some of our guests. We expected more from our party however we rocked their worlds anyway and left around 3am back to Mazunte, we then took over a little cafe bar where the guys played some bad ass tunes till well into the next day. Around 6am me and a couple of the girls headed down to the beach to catch a beautiful view of the sun rise, however we were shocked to find that a young man had died on the beach, potentially due to drink drugs and the ocean, he was a local boy. It was a devastating reality check, i decided to lead the conversation towards a celebration of life and how we were so lucky it wasn't any of us. Death is a major part of life and shouldn't be disregarded. It happens every day.

"Our only role during this time is to be like the tree who remembers its true nature and gracefully lets go of its leaves to return to the earth" Sandra Ingerman

After the new years three day bender, everyone was pretty keen to leave, in fact the whole town was keen to leave so we had to leave a day later than hoped in order to get a bus to San Cristobal. We stayed there for 3/4 days, went out on a boat trip through a canyon and saw crocodiles, monkeys and some birds. Got the flu and moved to Palenque, El Panchan. AMAZING. felt better as soon as i entered the jungle i felt able to breath again which is always a bonus. Lots of wildlife here. We went to the ruins which were magikal... Agua azul is breathtaking, swimming under the waterfall at Misol Ha gives a mixed feeling of panic and utter WOWness... pure adrenaline. We returned to Agua azul a couple of days later for Siwans birthday party complete with a suitcase full of booze, it rained the whole day so we took over a restaurant and got to the matter at hand. we spent the whole day there and then continued the festivities back in the jungle, i went a little crazy that night. I went out without my purse or camera to the 'baaa' and then proceeded to think i had lost all my belonging, throughout the night i would take each member of our crew to search all the destinations we had been to, apparently even getting on stage to ask the band if they may have seen it. i remember jumping on some peoples beds, and then when all went to bed around 5am i was found in the dark complete with head torch, bread, peanut butter and crisps stuffing my face, asked if i had found my camera i casually said 'yeah' and continued eating. hehe.

We sadly left the jungle the following day, many nursing heavy hangovers. Me and Rhys got the cheap bus and we really got our moneys worth, it stank of sick, we were searched by the military on two occasions i woke up to see a gun brush past my face. Arrived in Tulum about 5am and found a hostel after about 20minutes. A lovely place called 'casa del sol' it was 120 pesos for a dorm bed or 250 for a room. Tulum was beautiful and very expensive so we ate in every night and spent the time maxing the chillaxing. the beach is UNREAL, white sand and clear blue water, we snorkeled and saw a turtle, a manta ray and many cool fishes, we were lazy and bought cooked food from the supermarket which we could heat up, the last night Rhys cooked a mean thai style fish with thai curried veggies.

It was sad to leave Rhys, as i had been with familiars for nearly 3/4 weeks now, however i was keen to get on my journey. I caught the bus to Chetumal in order to get another bus down to Flores, Guatemala. I had to stay the night to wait for the connecting bus and my best and cheapest option led me to some Posada opposite the bus station, outside the landlord and a big black Caribbean dude were chatting, a kind Argentinian dude drove me around town to drop me across the road from where he had picked me up, he negotiated a cheap bus ride to Flores for me, Winner. After i drop my bags in my room, which is very basic, completely unluxarious. The landlord cycles off to buy us some coffees, the big black dude is called Cafe, how apt. he spends the entire time trying to chat me up and bribe me into being his girlfriend, money property he trys it all. Along comes a one armed midget baring a boom box around his neck and a tip jar in his hand, cowboy hat and completely wasted. it was a surreal situation.

The next morning i snooze past the point i was supposed to get up, the landlord is banging on my door at 10 to 7 saying i had 10mins to get on the bus, he cycles with me to the bus station and ensures i get my discount and my seat on the bus. The journey is due to be 8hours, thats nothing these days. I did not know we had to pay to leave Mexico, and i never received a visa on arrival which is usually a 50dollar fine however i get away with a 50 peso bribe. a couple of hours later after traveling through the beautiful belize we get stung with another 15 dollar charge to leave Belize, daylight robbery.

Mainland Mexico

So im a little behind on the blog spot but im going to give it my best attempt at the memory jog. I arrived after a 12hr boat ride to Mazatlan at about 9am, i have a cheap recommendation to stay at centro hostel in town, however its been closed down so i get directed to an overpriced centro hotel by which time im so tired i just stay there anyway. im feeling pretty ill so rest for some time before hitting the town. the town reminds me of India, bustling market place. I think that night i had walked the coastline before a very dark cloud engulfed the city so i quickly rushed home before being sucked into it. i went out for dinner on a very limited budget of about 150pesos. i ended up at the most expensive restaurant on the plaza which was an extreme contrast from the India style market place earlier that day. It was so romantic, a pagoda, pretty lights, an orchestra rehearsing, ballet class. I take up a pew outside the Pedro Lola restaurant, where they serve nopalis, a cactus i had been dying to try. The restaurant is filled with Americans and Canadians and there is a couple setting up musical instruments for jam night. Many people immediately come to talk to me, including the band man Roberto, he tells me about jazz night the following night and him and his pal offer me a place to stay for free. i end up staying and spending twice my budget on wine for the evening whilst enjoying some fine music. the next day i check out and head to this amazing apartment the other side of town which overlooks the ocean, sitting on the balcony watching many birds including hummingbirds fly around. That night we head to the restaurant where i am plied with free food, octopus, scallops, shrimp and free booze. Awesome. I end up sitting with the manager and his best friend learning Spanish. The following day is spent recovering, a couple i had met at the restaurant give me money to help me on my journey and Roberto gives me bread, peanut butter, tequila, cab fair to help me on my way. Im overwhelmed with their generousity.  I head off to board an overnight bus to D.F Mexico City.

 I arrive in D.F about 11am and decide to get another bus straight to Teotitichan, where the avenue of the dead is, which is the location of where the gods made the universe. I find hostel 200pesos no internet box room moody women, but cheapest in town. i head out straight away to the temples to get glimpse and judge journey for the morning. have a quiet night in and get up at 6am and walk to temples, first person up the temple de sol, i meditate on top, amazing. bloody scary getting up there and worse on way down, but oh my god, absolutely amazing, on top of the temple de Luna i meet a botanist from a university in Ecuador, result. I spent like 5 hours there soaking it all in. head back when tourists get to much and check out time is near approaching. get back pack bag, shower. steal towel, best thing from hotel.  I leave after lunch time and there is a bus waiting for me to take me back to D.F. D.F was hectic, i traverse the place via metro and find a great hostel next to the cathedral (Mexico city hostel). 

I immediately set out to explore and walk for ages, find some live music in the street, the zocolo is bustling with Christmas, ice skating, rides, food etc. I come across a protest as one of the leading politicians was fired so his staff are protesting for their jobs, here i meet a group of teenagers which take me on a walk back to the zocolo, they are nice and buy me an inflatable pencil thing which we take advantage of in the square, they are impressed by my general coolness (big ed). Back at the hostel i meet several people including a Dutch guy, an Indian and 2 Argentinian girls oh and one Korean girl, we all head out to find some viola (aka dancing) and find a really cool student hang out place, vegetarian organic cafe/bar. cool music and people. Meet Daniel, a student there, loose two thirds of team to bed and me and the 2 guys head to a party we have just been invited to on the other side of town. Many of our new team wanna teach me to salsa, which i entertain for some time. Seriously drunk, probably the first time ive been out and allowed myself to get drunk as the safety of the team allows. The party is in the back of a skate shop and the djs are playing tunes from the counter. Bout 3am we decide to make tracks back home. Daniel makes sure we all get home ok.

The following day after making him wait an hour Daniel tours me around the city, he doesnt speak any English so the day is spent with dictionary and phrase books in hand. Very hilarious, we toured most of the museums, went to various cafes to have conversations via a free translation website, hung out at his friends houses that were artists, ate grasshoppers, tried local foods and drinks including ponche, a hot fruit drink, lush. went to some art exhibitions. We walked around for nearly 11 hours, when we were at the last place, the vegetarian cafe and saw a group of Nazi's welding a Nazi flag on the backs i decided it was a good time to go home. The following day Daniel met me again for breakfast and then we headed to the museum of anthropology, via a lake where we went out on some pedelos, we saw some ancient traditional dances from some shamanic performance groups, the museum was fantastic. All of Mexicos finest artifacts held in one place. amazing. The we went to have coffee and translation chats. Then we went to the vegetarian cafe where we had a lock in, ate mole and drunk beer, then we stayed at this cool dudes house Dayn, were we exchanged music and cool polabras/ words. The following morning i was set to leave, Dayn was eager to show me his work, as he was an artist, we went to his studio where we had a little photo shot, not before a window frame, massive steel structure fell on this guy, luckily he was not hurt and neither were our spirits, it was sad to leave the community of cool people i had become friends with, but it was time to move on. Daniel took me to the bus station and we enjoyed a meal together before parting ways. I got a bus to Oaxaca where i had planned to stay for a couple of days.

Got to Oaxaca wey later than hoped, about 1am. I found it difficult to find any place to stay that was open, i eventually found somewhere and was given a room which felt like i was in the office on the next door nightclub, so i took it upon myself to find another open room. The place was minging, and when i woke up to see a spider next to me i just had to get out of there quick smart, so i went to a really nice cafe and spent a couple of hours rinsing the internet and talking to my dear pal Stannard on Skype. Good times :). i decided i couldnt be bothered with Oaxaca and immediately set off to the bus station. I found it hard to find but stumbled upon a bus company which cost 3 times as much and took 3 times as long to get there, this i did not discover until the journey was wey under wey. It was a beautiful journey through the mountains. This was also weird as i had a strong familiar feel to my surroundings, like i had been there before and it did not feel like new terrain. I have never been to the jungle before.

I arrived in Puerto escondido about 7pm and a friend i met on the bus took me to the bus stop of where i needed to be to get to Mazunte to meet my homecrew for xmas. There was only an hour left before the bus' stopped running there, i waited about half an hour before seeking out some information, apparently there is a road block, the local people are protesting against the government for higher pay and they had been there for four days already, i could get a taxi for 500pesos but that would be half my budget that i had remaining, so i found the cheapest place in the guide book and headed there to rent a cabana for the night. Immediately  on arrival i meet this Swiss girl Tanya, and then a Mexican lad called Fernando, who is my neighbor. the grounds are amazing, lush greenery, my own cabana and hammock outside. So spend the night talking with these two drinking cervesas, and having a smoke, this girl Tanya is nice but has a deceptive suspicious awe about her, then a small black scorpion comes running along to were she is sitting, i see and quickly warn her, she has a lucky escape and we remove the scorpion to the road side. apparently they are so rare i will probably not see one again.  She is leaving for my direction in two days with her friends so i decide to stay and hang out and then get a free ride. The next day is good, is slow, relaxing and cheap, we take a walk down the beach, Tanya's schedule is slightly ahead of ours, we meet her on the beach and she is glad to have company so she can leave her stuff on the beach and swim. We are heading to the end of the beach to watch the sunset, there is a weirdo guy sat nearby that is watching us. She says she has to listen to her instincts so turns for home, we confront the guy and come to the conclusion he is just drunk. so we head tot he end of the beach for a long walk. We eventually get home for some more chillaxing in the hammocks, i attempt to do Fernando a dreadlock, but we have no tools and his hair is too thin. Me and Fernando have hit it off like he is a younger brother, Tanya seems to want a lot and not give anything in return. I dont like her, i feel she is competing for my energy in some respect, weird. anyway, couple of days later and a sad farewell to Fernando i hitch with the Swiss to Mazunte in a car with no air con, no opening windows and 3 smokers. An hour later i arrive in Mazunte...