Bermuda

I wake up uber early after having only a couple of hours sleep but wanting to walk and use my legs, I wake up, get off the boat and I just start running, I run up this huge hill to an unfinished church, I run to the golf course and then to the supermarket. I buy yoghurts and croissants for everyone, I head back to the boat and enjoy a fine breakfast. i eagerly await people waking up. Read is up agrees to walk with me to finds the showers which I know are round the other side of the bay. We take the scenic route. Then when we arrive to find it not opened yet so we swim in the mariner, the water is so clean and you can see lots of fishes and crystal clear water, bliss. Grace and Chris arrive, we all enjoy a fine, time limited shower. As they are behind me in time I am eager to leave and do something, I want to use my legs and being impatient I leave and head back to the boat for some lunch. I get back and Brian arrives and offers me the bike, so I cycle over the hill and to the beach. I meet some guys I thought were gay and spend the day swimming and drinking a lot of wine, it is so expensive here its about 6 bucks for a glass of wine. I have about 20bucks to my name but luckily I don’t have to pay for anything. When we leave we tie my bike onto the back of this scooter and then there's three of us on a scooter, fun times. I am fed with steak and shrimps at my request. and some more wine. I stumble home at some point. Day 2, I can barely walk my legs are so worn out, my muscles feel like i've pulled them all. There we have to have a team meeting to discuss all the ‘problems’ on the boat, mainly the team morale seems to be the issue. The lack of communication is affecting us all.we we hit it out and get over the previous problems. We spend five days in Bermuda which breaks the bank, it is so expensive here I hardly want to leave the boat but also want to spend as much time as possible not on the boat whilst we have that opportunity.

We set sail from the there about 8 pm in the evening and toast with rum and lemonade. As soon as we out on the water I go below deck and feel extremely sick. So I head up to steer the boat and distract myself and it dissolves away as quickly as it arrived. 

Sailing. Part 1

I have no idea where to begin on this. Everyone said I was crazy. Never sailed before and setting out on the ocean. I didn’t care, I had to get home, and what a better way. Supposedly it is a lesser environmental impact than flying.  So we leave the international coastal way knowing that some of the jobs had not been done on the boat and that the workmanship of the boat repair people was less than substandard. Anyhow it was about 6.30pm when we hit the ocean. We were also motoring at this point I immediately felt sea sick, so I hit my bunk for a snooze, the first couple of days I slept a hell of a lot, I never knew I could sleep so much. I only felt sea sick for a short time and I think it was due to the engine being on, when your down below it vibrates so fast through your entire body that it makes you feel nausea, something I learnt to love on the latter end of the trip. The third day we had a major catastrophy and the foil on the forestay snapped, so we had to take the genoa down, in case it brought the mast down. Probably the worst thing that could happen, had happened. So for about half an hour we thought we were to turn back, which I was secretly delighted about, I was having mixed emotions about whether I liked sailing which is never a good start. My last entry on day three states ‘ I don’t want to die on this boat’, it is scary venturing out into the unknown, our radio didn’t work so I couldn’t maintain the contact I had agreed to with my friend at the shore. However we did have email which I sent one daily, I thought I wanted to not be connected to the world like that but I really looked forward to some contact outside of the boat, it was perhaps the highlight of the day sometimes. After which we decided to remove the genoa completely. It’s the bit that holds the big sail at the front and we tied it to the side. We were going to persevere with the journey.  Everyone at the dock had been telling me all week that they wouldn’t sail that boat on the ocean, everyone had an opinion and everyone had ‘worked’ on the boat at some point. I had complete faith in my captain. The winds were pants so we ended up motoring the whole way to Bermuda, we hadn’t planned to stop there but due to the damage on the boat we had no choice and I decided it would be great to break the trip up. The team of which some members were new to others meant that morale was low and there were some teething issues with the friendships. When we saw land, after eleven days we saw land, everyday we would count down the miles and dream about foods we wanted to eat, I wanted a glass of red wine and prefably a cheese board. We had a bird stop on our boat one day, a turn. So we called her Tina Turner had I fed her chips, she stayed for the day then I guess took off home. One of the crew put their foot through the floor in rough weather early on, which is a bit annoying as its at the bottom of the stairs to the cockpit. We rebuilt it but it wasn’t to hold for very long. Every day I had a 7.30am radio date to speak to someone at shore, each day thinking I had gotten to know the radio a little better, hope is a dangerous thing. After Bermuda I gave up and stuck to me emails. Some days I would put the line out for fishing and sit and wait for my tea, it never came. I think a lot about owning a dog, it’s the commitment. Every choice is life is feeling like a commitment and it scares me. I get absorbed in books, particulary this one about a bookstore in Paris, so after reading it I decide to go there and learn silk rope trapeze act things, and of course French, oh and journalism. Its amazing how wild ones imagination goes whilst out on the water. My dreams are becoming more vivid and interesting, I end up merging sleep dreams into day dreams. And then trying to curb where my thoughts are going. I have a daily ukele lesson, but my book is just for beginners and I need more. Exercise on the boat is vastly limited and restricted to situps and some stretching. The 4am shift is my favourite, 4-8am, this way I get to  see the sunrise, and then I get a nap in my dark bunk room to mull over my thoughts of the night.i had the bottom bunk for the first 11days (the best bunk). The top bunk feels like you are in a small coffin. I try to fast one day every 2 weeks but its amazing how hungry you get sailing as every second your muscles are working to keep you balanced so this doesn’t work out too well. Days go by without seeing any life, it feels like a floating island drifting through  a baron landscape, Such a strange environment. There is plenty of space of the boat to get away from people but every day you see the same peopleand the days merge into each other, as well as thoughts and dreams.Sometimes when we see something floating we think up wild stories that are attached to that object. Like one day we saw a buoy and we thought it had drugs attached and people were on the way to collect it. Day 8 I get awoken by an excited Grace because there are 20 or so dolphins outside swimming alongside the boat, by the time I get there I get to see them swim off into the sunrise. THeres news of a team meeting as some members are unhappy with the situation, there seems to be some bitching going on and this annoys me, but we quickly rectify the situation with a new watch schedule. When there are limited water supplies you end up scrutinizing how much people consume, and luxary items, some people having too much or too little. Feels like a survival tv program. Day 10 I am sunbathing on the bow when I see some dolphins swing by, oh my god this is amazing, they are diving in and out and swimming along side. I love them so much, I can hear them communicating with each other, I go to sit on the bow spritz and I can see them under my feet enjoying the waves. This is such an amazing experience I find it hard not to jump in to be with them. On day 11 we see land! It was ten past 2, what an amazing sight indeed, I couldn’t wait to get off the boat and be on my own in my own space, my own headspace I guess im not sure, just to feel the breakaway from the crew, to run and to eat fine foods. We made up crazy stories about what we could see, we didn’t get into the mariner until midnight that night, so many times we would go up deck to see how much closer we were and it felt like it wasn’t closer at all. It was disappointing, so I tried to sleep in the hope that when I woke up we would be on land. Bermuda is surrounded by reef and the sea is very rough, my dreams are crazy, the seem to mostly include sailing on land. I am getting thrown around inmy bed, I wake up and we are in the mariner trying to avoid boats in the dark.I am so excited I wake Grace up and talk about running off the deck into the water just because I wanna run so much, it was crazy times, I had tears in my eyes and laughter at my mouth. We moor at the customs office where they are awaiting to check our passports. Im so happy and excited. This is shattered quickly by my sea legs being on solid ground, this is worse than any other sickness ive ever felt. I want to get on the boat, so I do but the sea isn’t rough there and im still feeling sick. I have to sit on the floor in the customs office and take deep breaths, it was awful. So as soon as that’s done we move the boat to the opposite side and go for a walk in hopes of a bar and some cigerettes. Turns out theres nothing open but we find some people having a lock in at a restaurant so we ask to join which they warmly accept. My glass of red wine arrives. J good times.

The end at which it starts?

After a long and ardous stay in San Pedro Sula airport, 26 hours until the check in desk opened I got to know that airport pretty well, comfy spots for sleeping, electrical points etc. The check in opened at 9.30pm on the Thursday night, when a fellow islander Alan turns up to check the procedure, I leave the airport to go run some errands with him and his friend and have a couple of beers, I was thinking the whole time ‘am I crazy?’ anyway we make it back and the que is still a 100 long. Luckily earlier that day I had spoken to a couple of young people working the check in desk. They usher me to the front of the que, which clearly angers many passengers so we decide not to turn around, ‘what you don’t see doesn’t affect you right?’ J I had made a small arrangement with them at their request, I had to attempt to talk to their supervisor, who could not speak English. So they check us in, I could not remain serious considering I was in a high mood, wearing a massive grin. We ate our sandwiches and smoked our last cigarettes before going through the gate, we go through the gate and board pretty much immediately. Me and Alan are both very tall and we are stuck next to the window at the back of the airplane so we spend an uncomfortable 2 hours wedged up against the seats in front, probably getting about 45minutes sleep. We land at 5.30am American time, very sleepy and very excited! We say our goodbyes and I get on a transit bus to the train station. I was trying to get to Titusville and everyone was fairly helpful, except I didn’t find out till later they didn’t know what they were saying. So I board a train in the rain after the bus driver had given me half his lunch box because I was hungry. I get off at Hollywood and I wait for the Amtrak ticket office to open, I end up falling asleep on a bench to be woken up by a police officer shaking the bench. The ticket office finally opens and they tell me its 80bucks! I don’t know what to do so I exit the line. They aren’t very helpful at all on alternative routes, so I end up trying to fit the ticket on my credit card. The train arrives and I find myself a seat and go straight to sleep. On awakening to some ticket inspectors calling me sleeping beauty I go on the hunt for food, there’s a canteen, a restaurant and sleeping cabins, everyone wants to talk with me, apparently light exudes me. I get a tour of the cabins and good conversations to follow. On arrival to Orlando I ask a minibus driver how to get to Titusville, he tells me it would cost 100bucks! But he would take me to the bus station for 10bucks. What a dilemma, so I get in the bus and he drops his other customer off first at a swanky hotel, I get to know the driver and his co-pilot who has just moved here, he calls the bus station to find out the last bus already left a couple of hours ago. The only option left is to hitch. The co-pilot is freaking out, it’s dangerous, he says he will have a panic attack if I do that and he cares for my safety already which surprises me. I am determined to get to my destination after such a long journey I just wanted to get here. So they drop me at the services on the 428 highway to Titusville with a promise I will call if I get stuck. I sit on the central reservation and wait for cars to pass by to stick my thumb out, almost everyone avoids eye contact. One guy asks where I’m going and he says sorry he is going in the opposite direction. About half an hour later having had no takers he returns driving on the wrong side of the road he hollers me to get onboard, he says he found out where Titusville is and offers to take me half way, he couldn’t let me be stranded at the side of the road, he says he has to pick up his pay check first so we head downtown to his work base where there are a lot black people drinking beer hanging around, he gets me a beer for the journey, he then tells me to get out and have a beer whilst I wait for his boss who is driving closer to Titusville. A few beers, smokes and jokes later we are leaving. Not before I had been informed on the way they bet playing poker, they don’t play for money, they play for ‘Big Daddys’ and ‘Push-ups’.

So a ‘Big Daddy’ is where at any point at any given time, the person owed a ‘Big Daddy’ can say something like e.g. ‘hey bob, when you go home tonight, who’s dick you gonna be thinking about’ and he would have to reply ‘ yours big daddy’, and such like. So a tune came on and I was certain it was by the Fugees because I used to listen to those words many years ago I knew that, but he was like no its by the ‘BLAH BLAH’ so we bet a big daddy and sure enough he used it on me when everyone was earshot. Ha ha. J

Anyway we leave the house and set off down the highway. I am in high spirits again and laughing and joking with the boss and his son. When the driver turns to say he is dropping me at the next junction. The sudden realization that I still have a while to go is less than amazing but I happily truddle off in the direction of traffic, my bags are heavy and weighing me down, I have to keep stopping to regain strength, no one is even considering picking me up. I make it to a shop and wait outside, a man appears to tell me I still have a very long way to go, about 30 miles and maybe his boss could take me when the shop closes, there is another man in a car lingering around so eventually consider my options and go over to talk with him, he says he will pick me up across the road. Strange. So we start driving and he says he doesn’t know where Titusville is, I knew where it was so I tell him and he is unsure of how far so says we should stop and look at a map, whilst we stop he asks me if I want to come back to his house to ‘party’ with him and his wife, if I knew what he meant. I politely decline and wonder about the choice of this ride. The map doesn’t reveal much to him so he suggests we go back to his house to ask his wife. I say no thank you ‘ can you maybe take me to the next services’ so we drive along and then he turns off the highway by ‘accident’ and then has to turn around, ending up dropping at a services before the one he picked me up at. It starts to get dark and I am starting to worry so I decide to sit outside the services door and just ask people as they go in, I immediately meet someone who lives in Titusville but is going in the opposite direction, then a young of young people turn in and they say yes we will take me, the driver is German American and very sympathetic to my cause, the guy behind me sounds like an army zombie and the young girl is very nice. They take me all the way into my mariner, with offers of dinner and phone numbers in case I ever get stuck, I thank them kindly and send them on my way. The people on the dock are surprised I had turned up in the middle of the night, bare foot and asking a boat which wasn’t there, I was looking for a boat called ‘wandering star’, there was a boat heading to England but it was called ‘Legacy 2’ I go aboard and look for familiar items which could connect the boat to my friends, none. I don’t feel comfortable going aboard for the night, they make some calls and they tell me it is the boat so I go aboard for my well deserved sleep after a greatly appreciated shower.  I lift back the duvet and find… a backgammon board! Home J

The captain and crew don’t arrive for another week or 10 days so I make myself at home at the mariner. Everyone is happy to have me there, particulary Cindy who says im just what she needed. I am given her bike to use, fed daily with delicious foods, and more than adequately watered.  We all go on a beach excursion which is fueled by fried chicken and beers. Who am I to judge J.  I am a little bored as theres not much to do around there, and it’s a weird atmosphere at the mariner because half the people are working and some people are generally working on their boats very slowly and enjoying life I guess. A lot of weed is smoked around here which I try to avoid. One day Brian turns up, my captain, at last! Whoop whoop. He says we should go to KFC, which I don’t really want but he says we should go and chat there. I walk in to see a well nourished African looking girl in the corner I double take, fuck me its Grace! I cry with happiness for the next 15minutes, and as I write this tears comes to my eyes again, I had been longing to see a friendly familiar face for monthes and it had just come packaged in a KFC store. AmaZING J. That night the dock crew had arranged for the viewing of ‘captain ron’ a film they said I had to watch before sailing anywhere. I give Grace my bunk to sleep in cause theres one more bed I hadn’t tried out yet. That was a bad move because she loved it as much as I did and there we faught over it for the next few days.  Chris and Read turn up a few days later, we do the final preparations for the boat.

One day Brian returns and I notice more than a lot of crates of fizzy pop on the dock, hmm interesting. We do the provisions and I start to worry about the food situation on the boat. Meanwhile I have gotten to know  another boat owner who is trying to convince me to jump ship and sail to New York, which is tempting but sailing the Atlantic is my goal. Home across the pond.

Titusville is an a industrial town with the main industry being the NASA space station across the water on the island there, Monday the 18^th of May is the date when the ‘last’ shuttle will be launched to the space station, we decide this being a day to stay for and to leave the day after. In the bar one night we get an offer for me and Grace to go on a boat out to get front row seats which we greatly accept. So 7am and with stonking hangovers we get up after having not much sleep to go aboard this boat with Nef, a dentist who’s b irthday it was,his wife Sandra and Leaf. What a good feeling it was, we had the radio on with the count down on, and good company. Good company really makes the experience.  We get back to dock about 9am, if my memory serves correct, and this is when birthday drinks are suggested. The sun rises high and it starts to get very hot, by lunch time I am wasted, by 5pm I have passed out with the hopes of rising for dinner later that day. No chance. I was sick, sick as a dog. The next day we are still not ready to leave which is music to my ears as I hadn’t finalized everything at the mariner.  Wednesday morning we set sail.