I have no idea where to begin on this. Everyone said I was crazy. Never sailed before and setting out on the ocean. I didn’t care, I had to get home, and what a better way. Supposedly it is a lesser environmental impact than flying. So we leave the international coastal way knowing that some of the jobs had not been done on the boat and that the workmanship of the boat repair people was less than substandard. Anyhow it was about 6.30pm when we hit the ocean. We were also motoring at this point I immediately felt sea sick, so I hit my bunk for a snooze, the first couple of days I slept a hell of a lot, I never knew I could sleep so much. I only felt sea sick for a short time and I think it was due to the engine being on, when your down below it vibrates so fast through your entire body that it makes you feel nausea, something I learnt to love on the latter end of the trip. The third day we had a major catastrophy and the foil on the forestay snapped, so we had to take the genoa down, in case it brought the mast down. Probably the worst thing that could happen, had happened. So for about half an hour we thought we were to turn back, which I was secretly delighted about, I was having mixed emotions about whether I liked sailing which is never a good start. My last entry on day three states ‘ I don’t want to die on this boat’, it is scary venturing out into the unknown, our radio didn’t work so I couldn’t maintain the contact I had agreed to with my friend at the shore. However we did have email which I sent one daily, I thought I wanted to not be connected to the world like that but I really looked forward to some contact outside of the boat, it was perhaps the highlight of the day sometimes. After which we decided to remove the genoa completely. It’s the bit that holds the big sail at the front and we tied it to the side. We were going to persevere with the journey. Everyone at the dock had been telling me all week that they wouldn’t sail that boat on the ocean, everyone had an opinion and everyone had ‘worked’ on the boat at some point. I had complete faith in my captain. The winds were pants so we ended up motoring the whole way to Bermuda, we hadn’t planned to stop there but due to the damage on the boat we had no choice and I decided it would be great to break the trip up. The team of which some members were new to others meant that morale was low and there were some teething issues with the friendships. When we saw land, after eleven days we saw land, everyday we would count down the miles and dream about foods we wanted to eat, I wanted a glass of red wine and prefably a cheese board. We had a bird stop on our boat one day, a turn. So we called her Tina Turner had I fed her chips, she stayed for the day then I guess took off home. One of the crew put their foot through the floor in rough weather early on, which is a bit annoying as its at the bottom of the stairs to the cockpit. We rebuilt it but it wasn’t to hold for very long. Every day I had a 7.30am radio date to speak to someone at shore, each day thinking I had gotten to know the radio a little better, hope is a dangerous thing. After Bermuda I gave up and stuck to me emails. Some days I would put the line out for fishing and sit and wait for my tea, it never came. I think a lot about owning a dog, it’s the commitment. Every choice is life is feeling like a commitment and it scares me. I get absorbed in books, particulary this one about a bookstore in Paris, so after reading it I decide to go there and learn silk rope trapeze act things, and of course French, oh and journalism. Its amazing how wild ones imagination goes whilst out on the water. My dreams are becoming more vivid and interesting, I end up merging sleep dreams into day dreams. And then trying to curb where my thoughts are going. I have a daily ukele lesson, but my book is just for beginners and I need more. Exercise on the boat is vastly limited and restricted to situps and some stretching. The 4am shift is my favourite, 4-8am, this way I get to see the sunrise, and then I get a nap in my dark bunk room to mull over my thoughts of the night.i had the bottom bunk for the first 11days (the best bunk). The top bunk feels like you are in a small coffin. I try to fast one day every 2 weeks but its amazing how hungry you get sailing as every second your muscles are working to keep you balanced so this doesn’t work out too well. Days go by without seeing any life, it feels like a floating island drifting through a baron landscape, Such a strange environment. There is plenty of space of the boat to get away from people but every day you see the same peopleand the days merge into each other, as well as thoughts and dreams.Sometimes when we see something floating we think up wild stories that are attached to that object. Like one day we saw a buoy and we thought it had drugs attached and people were on the way to collect it. Day 8 I get awoken by an excited Grace because there are 20 or so dolphins outside swimming alongside the boat, by the time I get there I get to see them swim off into the sunrise. THeres news of a team meeting as some members are unhappy with the situation, there seems to be some bitching going on and this annoys me, but we quickly rectify the situation with a new watch schedule. When there are limited water supplies you end up scrutinizing how much people consume, and luxary items, some people having too much or too little. Feels like a survival tv program. Day 10 I am sunbathing on the bow when I see some dolphins swing by, oh my god this is amazing, they are diving in and out and swimming along side. I love them so much, I can hear them communicating with each other, I go to sit on the bow spritz and I can see them under my feet enjoying the waves. This is such an amazing experience I find it hard not to jump in to be with them. On day 11 we see land! It was ten past 2, what an amazing sight indeed, I couldn’t wait to get off the boat and be on my own in my own space, my own headspace I guess im not sure, just to feel the breakaway from the crew, to run and to eat fine foods. We made up crazy stories about what we could see, we didn’t get into the mariner until midnight that night, so many times we would go up deck to see how much closer we were and it felt like it wasn’t closer at all. It was disappointing, so I tried to sleep in the hope that when I woke up we would be on land. Bermuda is surrounded by reef and the sea is very rough, my dreams are crazy, the seem to mostly include sailing on land. I am getting thrown around inmy bed, I wake up and we are in the mariner trying to avoid boats in the dark.I am so excited I wake Grace up and talk about running off the deck into the water just because I wanna run so much, it was crazy times, I had tears in my eyes and laughter at my mouth. We moor at the customs office where they are awaiting to check our passports. Im so happy and excited. This is shattered quickly by my sea legs being on solid ground, this is worse than any other sickness ive ever felt. I want to get on the boat, so I do but the sea isn’t rough there and im still feeling sick. I have to sit on the floor in the customs office and take deep breaths, it was awful. So as soon as that’s done we move the boat to the opposite side and go for a walk in hopes of a bar and some cigerettes. Turns out theres nothing open but we find some people having a lock in at a restaurant so we ask to join which they warmly accept. My glass of red wine arrives. J good times.
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